Award   Winner      
    Perry Groves   J.F. Hasselbaink   87 pts    
    Player of the Year   (H Bomb)        
    Runner-up   T. Henry   71 pts    
        (Viva la Malvinas)        
    Best Individual Performance T. Henry   15 pts    
      (Viva la Malvinas)   (31 Dec)    
    Highest Monthly Score   M. Owen   25 pts    
        (The Jinkster)   (May)    
    Rookie of the Year   M. Viduka   53 pts    
      (Shag the Dead Donkey)        
    Lowest score of the   A. Hughes   -10 pts    
    Season   (Viva la Malvinas)        
    Most goals scored   J.F. Hasselbaink   23 goals    
        (H Bomb)        
    Most assists   D. Beckham   12 assists    
        (Shag the Dead Donkey)        
    Most clean sheets   F. Barthez   15 clean sheets    
        (Shag the Dead Donkey)        
    Most goals conceded   S. Watson   50 goals conceded  
        (H Bomb)        
    Most Attacking points scored I. Harte   38 attacking points  
    from a defender   (H Bomb)        
    Most points from a Striker J.F. Hasselbaink   87 pts    
        (H Bomb)        
    Most points from a Midfield G. Poyet   49 pts    
        (They made me pay for Rebrov)        
    Most points from a Centre Half T. Adams   42 pts    
        (Up the Arse Overmars)        
    Most points from a Full back I. Harte   57 pts    
        (H Bomb)        
    Most points from a Goalkeeper F. Barthez   43 pts    
        (Shag the Dead Donkey)        
    Award   Winner      
    Highest weekly score   Up the Arse Overmars?   32 pts    
            (22 Apr)    
    Lowest weekly score   Its those Plonkers again   -3 pts    
            (19 Nov)    
        Viva la Malvinas   -3 pts    
            (2 Jan)    
    Highest monthly score   Shag the Dead Donkey   62 pts    
    Lowest monthly score   Shag the Dead Donkey   7 pts    
    Most weeks top of the league Just do it   16 weeks    
    Most weeks bottom of the league Its those Plonkers again   12 weeks    
    Team scoring the most goals Viva la Malvinas   70 goals    
    Team making the most assists Just do it   62 assists    
    Team with the most clean sheets The Jinkster   68 clean sheets    
    Team conceding the most goals Viva la Malvinas   212 goals conceded  
    Team using the most players Up the Arse Overmars   55 players    
    during the season            
    Team with the most members Farcalona   11 players from    
    of their original squad left     original squad    
    Team playing the most games Just do it   392 games played  
    during the season            
    Team playing the least number Shag the Dead Donkey   345 games played  
    of games during the season          
    Team playing the least   Shag the Dead Donkey   154 defenders played  
    defensive players            
    Team losing the most points H Bomb   75 pts    
    during the Season            
    Award   Winner      
    Best transfer buy at auction T. Adams   38.18 pts per 1mil  
    (1mil & over)   (Up the Arse Overmars)        
    Best transfer buy at auction L. Bowyer   43 pts per 100,000  
    (under 1mil)   (Viva la Malvinas)        
        E. Heskey        
        (Viva la Malvinas)        
    Best free transfer from the auction M. Babbel   41 pts    
      (Just do it)        
    Biggest transfer flop from the auction E. DeGoey   0 pts per 1mil    
    (over 1mil)   (Viva la Malvinas)        
    Best transfer buy during season T. Sheringham   13.47 pts per 1mil  
    (over 1mil)   (Up the Arse Overmars)        
    Best free transfer during   M. Stewart   43 pts    
    the season   (Jinkster)        
    Biggest transfer flop borght J. Gronkjaer   0.45 pts per 1mil  
    during the season (over 1mil) (Farcalona)        
    Most expensive forward   T. Henry   11.2 mil    
      (Viva la Malvinas)        
    Most expensive midfield player D. Beckham   4.7 mil    
      (Shag the Dead Donkey)        
    Most expensive Centre Half S. Hypia   3.2 mil    
      (H Bomb)        
    Most expensive Full Back I. Harte   3.3 mil    
        (H Bomb)        
    Most expensive Goalkeeper E. DeGoey   2.6 mil    
      (Viva la Malvinas)        
    National Competitions    
    Competition   Team      
    National Cup   They made me pay Rebrov   3rd Round    
      Just do it   2nd Round    
        Up the Arse Overmars?   1st Round    
        The Jinkster   1st Round    
    Champions League   They made me pay for Rebrov   6th group stage    
    UEFA Cup   Up the Arse Overmars?   5th group stage    
      Ith those Plonkers again   6th group stage    
    Highest National Postion Shad the Dead Donkey   460th    
    during the season       (Dec)    
    Lowest National Postion   H Bomb   9660th    
    during the season       (Oct)